Best and the worse time of my life.

I am 21 and I have a 1 yr old son. When I was 4 months pregnant my husband who is 24 left me. We moved States away from home to start new and get on the right path but he was getting bored and missed his family and friends. After he left he told me he was coming back, until the past caught up with him and he is being charged with four felonies. My whole pregnancy I spent without him and stressed thinking he was going to jail. The whole time he was away he would call me blacked out drunk and emotionally abuse me. Threaten me, called my parents names and even Joked me about weighing 140 while pregnant. After I had the baby he started being nice again but that came to an end. I had to change my number because I couldn't take the abuse anymore. It only took him a couple months to start seeing someone else with a baby the same age as our son. He told me how they wanted to get married and move here so they could be a part of our sons life. I still have to deal with him being nasty with me and calling me names and I sometimes have her doing it too. I live with my parents and he texts their phones. Now I'm going to court for custody and a divorce and trying to get sole and supervised visitations. Since he doesn't agree he wants to take the baby from me. Hes mentally unstable and has a bad temper and drinking problem. He lives 14 hrs away and doesn't care that the baby doesn't know him. I think it's unhealthy for my son to go with a stranger for weeks at a time. It breaks my heart to think about it.

I can't find a job but I just started school. I have let the stress and gotten so sad and lonely from all this. I lost too much weight and didn't realize it but I got my eating back on track. I don't know anyone here but my parents so I get lonely at times. I never been through so much heartache before but my son has made it better. I've been improving myself for him and for myself. I never loved someone so much in my life and couldn't imagine my life without him. He has mentally made me stronger. He is the happiest baby I ever seen. He really makes me proud when I see him smiling all day. Hes always laughing even just from hearing other people laugh. I never been happier in my life. His smile makes it all better. All I have is my son to make me happy, I'm ready for things to get better.

Sometimes I wish my ex would just go to jail for years but I rather just find peace and get over it. Im stressed about Court. I don't want to deal with his lies and unnecessary things he's going to try and do. I want peace in my life and to mentally move on. I use to be so scared about being a single mom but it all comes naturally like everyone says and being tired forever. I could sleep for days if I could. I thank God everyday for my son. It's truly the best feeling in the world being a mom.