Death of a father

by Lulu
(WA)

Hi there,
My name is Vanessa and I am a single mom. I was with my daughter father for 5 years, ages 19-24. I have a beautiful, amazing 4 year old who is my everything. I left him when my daughter was 1, but he continued to be in our lives in and out and lived with us up to 3 months of him being killed. Don't get me wrong he mostly wasn't there and my family helped me raise her, but I feel he did the best he could under the circumstances. He had gotten real deep into drugs. Which eventually resulted in his death. My daughter has been asking questions for about a year now, but more recently really wanting some real answers. She's sick, and just last night was laying next to me, turned to me and said "I want my dad".

I have always been completely honest with her, age appropriate of course, and never talked bad about him, only good. Her lip was quivering and she was genuinely sad. It broke my heart to pieces and once again had to explain daddy lives in the stars and always in your heart, And he watches you and loves you. I have told her he died. She is very smart and to a certain extent I think she understands it. My question is, how can I better deal with these questions? She was 2 when he passed, so young. How much should I tell her? I just need any advice that pops in your head. Thank you so much!

Comments for Death of a father

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When Your Child Grieves
by: Sara Says

Thank you so much for your question, and please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. Children are amazing little beings, and we are so surprised by the depth of their feelings.

To answer your first question, it sounds like you are handling the situation perfectly. Your daughter is going through the normal grieving process, and as Ada suggests, she may feel her father's presence.

The child's book The Invisible String may be helpful to your daughter. Your local librarian may be able to suggest some other beneficial books.

It takes time to heal, and you are doing all the right things to support your baby. Blessings, peace, and comfort to both of you.

On the other side........
by: Ada

First blessings on what amazing and loving work you are doing raising your little girl.
Death is us passing through a barrier. Our souls are on a journey that leaves the body they no longer need behind.
It is possible that when she says these things she is sensing his presence. Those in Spirit can often be felt easier by little ones as they have no prior programming to interfere with knowing we are all spirit/soul in a body.
You can tell her that her dad is often around in spirit form, his body he no longer needed in this life. This allows him to be where he wants when he needs to be but unfortunately it means that usually we can see him as he's in Soul Form.
Tell her he can talk to her in her dreams when the time is right and she can always tell him she loves him, anytime, any where.
Look up ways in which those on the other side communicate with us to allow her to see the signs as she grows older. It may well help.
Wishing you love, peace and joy. Ada

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