How to Manage

by Nicole
(Frankfort)

I am a single mother of 3 ages 12 months, 2, and 7. I find it hard to manage the house work, raising the children, and going to college full time. I often find myself stressed out. Taking care of myself is always last on the list. I feel as if I am always cleaning and not spending enough time playing with the babies. Please help.

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Picking Battles and Priorities
by: Minnie Rae

I am a newly divorced single mom of 3 boys. 1-is a newly dating just turned 16 year old. 1-6 with Asperger's Syndrome 1-almost 2 autistic (just not sure where on the spectrum.

I used to stress myself out trying to get my two little ones out the door dressed fed and not screaming every morning. I did not accomplish this until I picked what was important to me, meaning if I was able to load the dishwasher and get the spilled milk off the floor and the scrambled mashed all over the table cleaned up while trying to get me "all kinds of beautiful" and just getting them so they were not naked when I brought them to school and daycare. I do a quick sweep of each room as I am in it.

I only wash and vacuum my carpet and floor when I see my kids socks getting dirty from them. Otherwise I don't sweat the cleaning. Cooking is a "What Ev" thing at my home, it's what ever we are all feeling like when we get home.

Being a single mom we are pushed in the role of being the strong arm of the family thus robbing us of the opportunity to enjoy our kids. So I choose to enjoy my kids and that means enjoying them in a sometimes dirty house. And enjoying them in moments where I really just need to make this phone call or pay this bill. I choose them first (they go to bed early) than it's time for bills, phone calls and me.

My advice to you is to make your own rules, don't have any expectations of how an evening or morning is going to be (because that will bring about stress when it doesn't go as planned).
Just be your own family that does things how you do, not as how someone else does.

Smile always (even when you face feels to heavy to even try).

Laugh all the time, at yourself at something funny or cute your kids did. Laugh until you almost pee your pants.

And remember always you were put in this situation for a reason (even if it was something negative that made this situation happen). But inside of that reason and purpose of this single mother life you live in is a blessing in disguise and if you don't recognize that now, the kids will grow up and you will have missed the opportunity to show them and teach them that sometimes life gives you lemons, but you can make lemonade, or be totally different and get some apples to make apple juice which is far less bitter than lemonade and you don't have to add anything to it because it is already sweet on it's own.

And that is what your life is, sweet already with a few hiccups and stresses thrown in daily. But we are MOM's, we are WOMEN we can handle hiccups and stresses with our eyes closed.

Managing momming and school
by: Ask Sara Says:

Congratulations to you! Making the decision to further your education makes you an incredible role-model for your children while you are assuring your own financial success.

At the same time, managing the process can certainly be overwhelming. I am working on an entire workbook/seminar just for single moms who are going to school, but for today, I'll stick to your immediate question. :)

When you're in school, you really, really need to set your priorities. Kids and school are #1. When it comes to housework you need to take a triage approach. Determine what HAS to be done, and when you can do it. Involve your kids as much as possible and make cleaning a family event. Your kids are old enough to help with the dishwasher, sweep floors, dust, sort and fold laundry, and make beds. Once chore time is done, switch to play time. Housework will get done quickly, you'll have kid time, and your children will learn responsibility, independence, and your education will become a family goal that everyone is supporting.

Good luck!!! You'll be fabulous!!

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