son with anger

by mikela
(Oklahoma)

Well I have a 7 year old son. That has anger or no self control. I'm a single mother and he is the only child. He gets into trouble everyday at school been suspended 4 different times. And he has only been in school 12 weeks. He is really smart and all his teachers tell me this. I have taken everything away from him. I need help. The teachers and other people in his life are done with him. I still have hope. I really love my son and I want to help him. I took him to counseling and the person told me I had the problem and not my son. I have no anger and I have lots of control. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

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Little Boy with Big Temper
by: Ask Sara...

Dear Mikela…sounds like things are tough and pretty frustrating at the moment. I am so sorry you’re struggling. I understand that your son is demonstrating some bad behavior. There’s some information that I need to help you correctly that’s not in your post, so I will give you some general advice.

You need to look for triggers. What happens right before you son has an outburst? You need to look for any patterns. Once you identify them, you can remove, manipulate, or interrupt them. The goal is to either eliminate the trigger, or give your son the tools to respond differently when the trigger happens.

You don’t say what your son does during his outbursts. Suspension seems like a pretty odd response for a 7 year old. You need to ask for some assistance from a school psychologist. The school needs to put appropriate measures into place, not suspend the child. If the school refuses to provide this service, ask for a copy of your hearing rights, and request a hearing. You can’t direct his school behavior from home, even though some schools would like to pretend you can. And please be sure your medical doctor is involved. It is important to rule out any underlying medical issues.

Check out my blog post on managing behavior..

Make sure the elements in the post are covered as you work on his behavior at home, and as they work on his behavior at school. You are right to maintain hope. Your child is only 7. Things will get better and you are doing the right thing by continuing to push for appropriate answers, and for help. God bless and hang in there!

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