how to raise a 9 year old daughter?

by Betty O
(Kenya,Nairobi)

I am a single mum. How do I raise my 9 year old daughter? I have tried 2 different relationships and it isn't working on my side. I know am hurting her because she thinks she has been close to them but it's not true because they don't take care of her in any way and that is what I don't like.

They are pretending to be caring, but they don't do anything for my girl.

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Looking for a dad...
by: Sara

Hi Betty!

Dating can be a bear! I'm so sorry you are having some challenging experiences.

I appreciate wanting to be in a relationship, and I appreciate wanting help to raise your daughter.

I am going to challenge you here though. I think you are attracting some less than ideal characters because you aren't showing up as your best self.

You are really just looking for someone to take care of things, and so are the men who are showing up. When they realize you have some pretty high expectations, they bail.

Consider a new approach. First, you can do this on your own. You are smart and capable. You are a mom, and you are doing just fine keeping life going while these men pop in and out of your family.

Step and decide what kind of man you really want, and what kind of relationship you really want.

Don't settle. If a man is less than you want, you are not going to be happy, and neither are they.

Teach your daughter that women are strong! Teach her that we solve problems and take care of business. Strong women add a man to their lives after that man proves he is worthy...not before, and not while he's trying to figure it out.

Protect your daughter. She doesn't need to meet everyone you date. It's fine to wait until you think they are going to stay around for a while. This gives you time to build a relationship, and saves your daughter some headache. :)

Good luck!

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