My children

(Centerville )

Hi Sarah,
Help me!
I’m feeling like I can’t win, my kids do everything with their dad they love the new young wife and baby and I’m always left out.
Kids live with him one more day a week than me.
He manipulates my children and he’s great at it’s
My children post pictures of them as a family and never include me.
I try to let it go but it hurts and I lose sleep days on this:

Thank you

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Kids like Dad better
by: Sara


I am so sorry you are having this experience. It must feel incredibly disheartening.

You don't say how old your kids are here so I am going to be a bit general and hopefully you can apply the information.

A few things to consider...
1. Babies are adorable and posting about them is pretty easy and natural. It's not you. It's just that the baby is cute.

2. What's life like with you versus at dad's house? Can you add a bit of fun, silliness, creativity, lightheartedness, "selfie moments", etc.?

3. How is your interaction WITH your kids? Do you have a good relationship, do you help them to explore their interests and introduce new things, spend quality time together?

If any of the above is lacking, begin to make changes.

If you can talk with them about what they like at your house, what else they'd like to do, etc. without things sounding like a competion between parents...then do so.

Posting pictures isn't a measure of a child's relationship with a parent. Facebook (or whatever platform) isn't indicative of real life.

As a parent, it's important to decide how you want to raise your kids, what you feel is most important, and how you will achieve those goals. The'll have to block out. Maybe chatting with a therapist so that you can relax into the situation, and so you can get some sleep would be helpful.

You do want the kids to enjoy their time with their father, and you do want them to be included as equals in the family. It can feel like you are being left out and like you are losing your children, even if everything is going just fine.

Do your best to help them to enjoy the time with their dad, and with you of course. And find ways to participate your own interests and create a fulfilling life for those days when you do not have your kids. You will feel better and that will have a positive impact on your relationship with your children.

I wish you the very, very best.

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