Change is tough. It often shows up unannounced, and demands our full attention. It is, as they say, life’s only constant.
I believe change to be particularly difficult for single moms. We tend to live, or at least feel we live, so close to life’s edge. We focus so hard to keep the status quo. To assure there is space between us and the edge of the cliff. When change arrives, we often experience immediate terror because we fear change will draw us too near, or even right over, that cliff.
Churchill said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” And for the most part I would agree. Below are three reasons we need to get over our fear, and learn to make peace with change.
It’s true. Worrying, fretting, pacing, swearing, sweating, panicking, or having any other reaction to the idea that your world is somehow changing, might make you feel better, but ironically, won’t change anything.
What’s coming is coming, and the faster you can get a handle on that, the easier the process is going to be. Breathe deeply, take a nap, have a bubble bath, do some yoga, have a good cry, and then pick yourself up and move forward.
Change creates a sense fear, danger, and/or loss. We think to ourselves “Hey, I was comfortable with the status quo. I knew it. It was my friend. Now it is leaving. I don’t like that! What if things get worse?”
However, change also creates opportunity, a feeling of hope. “What if this new thing is better?” The quicker you can move your brain to focus on the opportunity and hope in your experience, the more peaceful your experience will be.
Look back on your past transitions and think about everything you gained by the time you got to the other side of the change. You will likely find that if you waited long enough, much was gained, including contentment. Shift that contentment to the beginning of the process and you'll find that making peace with change makes the process easier.
Stress on the body and mind creates dis-ease, or disease. The body is in sync with the mind. Stress and anxiety in our thoughts cause all kinds of aches and pains. Our necks and shoulders cramp up, our digestive system goes haywire, our hair falls out, we grow pimples, and those are just the mild systems.
We can also grow nasty cells that eat our healthy cells and turn our bodies into hosts for cancers, ulcers, and a variety of other painful and nasty maladies.
Stay calm, be sure to get as much sleep as you can, eat your fruits and veggies, and keep drinking your water. Caring for your body will help it to stay strong and ward of bad cells, while you work on your mind.
Remember, you are incredibly powerful. You have come through much. Your experiences have made you stronger, wiser, and more capable. This change will do the same.
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