The idea of The Single Mom Oath came to me just yesterday. I was talking to a single mom and this is what she said.

“I just feel so overwhelmed and I am scared I am going to mess my children up in some way.  Is that crazy?  We have no contact with their father and it’s frightening that I am all they have.  I just want to be good enough for them.  They deserve the world and what if I can’t give them that?  I had this idyllic image of what I wanted their childhood to look like and this isn’t it.  They have been through so much and it’s just not fair to them.  That’s what I keep coming back to.  The fact that they didn’t ask for any of this.”

I hear these words from single moms all the time and it just breaks my heart. Don’t get me wrong. I totally get it. I joined “The Single Mom’s Club” twice, (the real one, not the movie) first as an unmarried pregnant woman, and later as newly divorced woman. I have certainly experienced my share of fear, panic, worry, and frustration each time my visions of the perfect life vanished into thin air.

It saddens me that women are hurting and afraid simply because they are raising children without a partner. I absolutely believe that instead of stressing, single moms CAN CELEBRATE their magnificence. To commit to raising children is huge. To stand up and face the challenge alone or nearly alone, is honorable, commendable, and brave.

In thinking about yesterday’s conversation I realized that the self-talk I use over and over to alter my thinking is my personal single mom oath. Because repeating this oath over and over has made such a powerful difference in my life, I want to share it with you.

You are an amazing and powerful woman. Step into that and then say this oath aloud:

The Single Mom’s Oath

I promise to remember that:

  • I am raising incredible children.
  • I am enough.
  • I teach my children as much through my actions as through my words.
  • I show up every day and give the best I have.
  • I need to take time to recharge, and that is not only OK, it is required.
  • My kids are not damaged because I am single.
  • My kids know, feel, and see that they are loved.
  • My kids understand that “stuff” doesn’t equal success or love.
  • It is my job to prepare my kids for the world, not to give them the world.
  • God and I are an army.
  • I am raising my children to be self-sufficient and powerful adults.
  • My children are learning to forge through adversity.
  • My strength lies in my determination.
  • I am growing every day.
  • I am an inspiring role model.
  • I am an inventive and creative problem solver.
  • My life is beautiful.
  • I enjoy my children every day. I know my time with them is limited.
  • My children are learning what is truly important in life, and they have solid values.
  • I understand what is important in life, and I arrange my life accordingly.

Post The Single Mom Oath where you can read it throughout the day and share it with your single mom friends. (In fact, you can download your very own copy here.) I promise you will worry less, and increase your feeling of well-being, and joy.

You are doing an excellent job, Mama! Celebrate you!

Sara Sherman has been single momming for nearly 25 years. She is committed to supporting other single moms to live their most powerful life. She is the author of The Single Mom's Guide to Getting a Degree and Companion Workbook, and a contributor to the Care.com Community.