Need advice and help! What do I do?

by Jennifer Browning
(Aloha,OR)

My oldest daughter doesn't like my youngest daughter's father because of what he put me through. I feel like I should give him a chance to be in her life by talking to her on Facebook because he is in another state. Facebook and Skype is the only way he can see her an talk to her.

I don't know if I'm making the right choice. Yes he hurt me and said some hurtful things when I was pregnant. But, my youngest doesn't know that. To top it off when he did Skype her he was at his girlfriend's house, but I didn't know that until after he was done talking to her he said he was at a friend's house.

I feel mad and hurt that he just couldn't be honest so now I think my mom and my oldest are right an I shouldn't let him talk to her at all. Please help. I don't want to make any mistakes with her. thanks

Comments for Need advice and help! What do I do?

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Managing Mixed Families NEW
by: Ask Sara

Wow! This is indeed a tricky situation. On one hand, you're hurt, you're confused, and you have family members who don't like your daughter's father. On the other hand...he is her father, and she has a right to a relationship with her dad. Right?

Right!

While it's pretty clear this guy isn't Mr. Wonderful when it comes to romantic relationships, he IS interested in maintaining a relationship with his daughter, and that is wonderful. Kids need to know whenever possible, that both parents care, and both parents love them. Given that, you are doing the right thing.

You might need to beef it up a bit to protect that relationship. No other family members need to approve, like the situation, or the man. What they DO need to do though is keep those feelings to themselves and put on a public face of respect. Your daughter doesn't need to know anyone else's opinion.

This man is probably not going to give you grand details about his life, and that's OK. It doesn't really matter where he called your daughter from, it matters THAT he calls.

God bless!
Sara

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