Belittling and not caring
Firstly thank you so much for providing such an insightful web page. I feel I am not alone in the endeavour of being single and trying to raise 3 children (2 teens, 15 girl, 13 boy and 11 girl).
I think on some deep level I have always carried around a level of guilt for splitting up our family unit about 9 years ago, and on another level have over-compensated by being a very present mother, of doing everything and anything to make my kids lives easier and happier. I know this immediately seems like a recipe for being walked over. But what I've noticed of recent times, say last 12 months, is my kids seem to take me totally for granted, no matter how much I remind them of everything that I try to do, and worse than that, they sometimes disrespect my personal choices about anything from what food I choose to eat to what I wear! I find this insanely frustrating because they seem to be attacking me on a personal level.
Are they testing me as a disciplinarian? I am not very good as disciplining them this is true. I generally would rather pick up after them than stand my ground on punishments like revoking iphones or ipads, etc. These confrontations leave me totally upset, without energy, and the kids just wear me down till they get their way.
I think this is the hardest thing about being a single mum is that you dont have any backup to help you when they start to wear you down when imposing limitations due to bad behaviour, etc.
I am very thankful that they are pretty good kids generally, but I feel worthless and fustrated by their current attitudes to me and my youngest is now picking this up and showing me up in public with scowls and angry words.
I'm totally clueless on how to deal with this situation because I am shocked they should be questioning my own personal choices or attitudes to things....
Your help/advice greatly appreciated...