Child Custody

by Summer
(California, US)

Ever since Child Support has been placed, my son's dad wants 50% custody. I am sure he only wants 50% custody so that he can get out of paying for child support.

He has started a custody case against me and we have gone to court twice. The first time, The judge sided with the mediator who recommended that my son goes with his father every Wednesday after school until Thursday before school and every other weekend (Friday after school until Monday before school). I was fine with this.

The second time we had a court date, since his father and I could not agree (him wanting more time) the judge recommend we go to parenting classes together. I'm okay with that too.

My concern is, besides him only wanting my son just to get out of paying child support, is that he lives with his girlfriend's family. There are three other kids in that house, and my son has to share a room with his father and his father's girlfriend.

My son is 8 years old by the way, way too old to be sharing a room with an adult couple.

Another concern is that, his father and his father's girlfriend made sure not to announce that they were having a baby that's due next month until after our most recent court date. How sneaky!

So he wants my son to share a room with him, his girlfriend, and their new born baby? Our next court date isn't scheduled for another three months, is there anything that I can do?

I would like my son to visit his father, just not stay over night on school nights. I know that a newborn baby will keep him up all night.

My son already complains that it's too loud at that house because of those three other kids and that he likes my house and having his own bedroom more.

Am I over reacting? Should I ask to see the judge sooner than our next court date? Should I just go to these parental classes and discuss with the father my concerns?

I feel like they are being very sneaky and misleading and no matter how much I talk to the father, he will be manipulative and selfish like he has always been.
Please help!

Comments for Child Custody

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A Little Too Crowded!
by: Sara

Hey Summer!

Bless your heart! What a challenging situation.

I am guessing the sleeping arrangements haven't come up in any of these court proceedings.

Your requests certainly seem appropriate. Do you have an attorney? You mentioned a mediator. You definitely need an experienced attorney who can help you state the case for what is in the best interest of your son.

The attorney can file a request that your son not sleep over on school nights until the hearing. I am not saying that will be granted, but the attorney can certainly create a solid justification for the request, and perhaps get your court date moved up.

Your attorney can also request that your son have appropriate sleeping quarters. In other words, not sharing sleeping quarters with his sexually active father and girlfriend.

You are spot on. This arrangement is NOT an appropriate arrangement for an 8 year old.

Check with your child support enforcement agency to see if they have attorneys you can use, and contact the California Bar Association for referrals. Also check at

Document the conversations you have had with the father, and the responses. If you have not had any on this topic, give talking a try.

Share that information with the attorney, and stay strong as you advocate for your child. He doesn't have anyone but you standing up for his rights. You are doing the right thing!

Good luck!

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