HEALING- putting pieces back together
(S.F., CA, USA)
I am a single mother of a 24 y.o. daughter and a 9 y.o. son. I have a 2.5 year old grandson. In 2012, I (FINALLY) completed school with a Doctorate in Physical Therapy. My daughter (who had lived 800 miles away at the time), hooked up with a thug/addict, becoming pregnant. Very long story short.....daughter & her "husband" have abandoned their son & are hooked on drugs. I have gone from graduating and being excited about having an amazing life for my son and I to not being able to pass the P.T. licensing exam (x3), giving up all I worked for, moving back to "help" my grandson. Helping with my grandson, turned into fostering, to legal guardianship and now moving towards adoption. I have had in my custody for one year and four months. My son's life has been turned inside out and upside down.
My grandson is "special needs" with speech delay and trauma. We have ALL been so dramatically affected, all traumatized and are all handling it in different ways with me being the only one absorbing the stress, emotions, day to day grind of single parenting (in poverty).
I am beside myself with all of this and am trying to do the best I can with services for my grandsons' needs and my son.
It never seems like it is enough. My son (also dx ADHD) is now showing so much anger. I can't keep going through this intense emotional roller coaster.
I am 47 years old, worked 20 years to complete my education in hopes to provide a more comfortable life for my son....I lost EVERYTHING, making everything worse for my son. I have faith BUT.....HOW DO I GET MY LIFE BACK?
HOW DO I BALANCE THE 2.5 y.o. and THE 9 y.o.? HOW DO I START OVER - credit, finances, living situation, expenses for two boys.....?
I am usually ok, but right now, I am exhausted and need help. My kids are 15 years apart. Each being raised (basically) as only children.
Raising two boys together, alone is ridiculously different and much more difficult.