how to handle and raise boys as best kid

by Anitha
(Bangalore , India)

Hi, My husband expired in 2010. Even when he was alive, from day one till now I handle all as my son's needs. His father was useless and not honest.

my problem is, I am unable to over come my son's demands? I have explained our situation at home but he still wants silly things. If he gets them once, he expects to get them again. How do I make him understand the value of money?

I try my best, but he things I am fooling him and I do not want to see him happy.

I want him to be a intelligent hardworking son. he is good and very active in studies but from past one month he is not concentrating? He is very keen on playing football and playing if I let him he will play till midnight.

What shall I do and when will boys understand a mother's feeling and pain? I am not well heath-wise, but for the sake of son I am handling myself.

How do I overcome all this. He is 12 yrs old now.

Please guide me as my financial situation is not so good at present.

Thanks & Regards

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Kids Don't Understand
by: Sara

Hi Anitha!

First...I am sorry about your health. I hope you feel better very soon.

I hope this comes as a relief to you. Your son is behaving like a normal 12 year old. I know that is both good news and bad news. :)

It's not your son's job to understand what's going on. It's his job to go to school, study, play, and be respectful.

It's your job to be the leader of the family. If he asks for something that he can't have, for whatever reason, simply tell him "no". Don't be upset that he asked, just tell him he can't have it.

If he is playing and not doing his schoolwork, then he doesn't get to play until AFTER his schoolwork is finished.

You will have to be strong in this because he will whine, and complain, and tell you that you are the worst mom in the whole world. It will hurt your feelings, but he doesn't mean it. You have to stay strong.

Please understand that this will likely get worse through the teen years. Set those boundaries now, and stick to them. The better you sick to your rules and expectations, the better kid you will have.

Reach out to friends and family for support. Join my new Facebook group...The Single Mom Pride. There are lots of moms over there who provide encouragement and support to each other.

Good luck! I know you have this!

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