I don't feel I am loved but just to be needed and be used

by Lee
(cornwall)

Why my daughter is not treating me as nice as she treat to others after that I have done everything that I can for her the best?

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thanks Sara
by: Lee

Thank you for your answer Sara
My daughter is 17ys. I understand what you are saying and I am trying my best to bring her up in my best way that I could. I put her before me and I expect her appreciation and respect. However, she may be not seeing that. But if I let her run the life as she wishes then the world might be upside down. I think you are right that I should ignore her and not take to seriously sometimes.
I must say it is hard be on my own and have to adjust the balance between love and be strict.
Thanks
Feeling Unloved
by: Ask Sara

Awesome question! You don't say how old your child is...so I'm going to give you some general information here.

First, this behavior is normal. Kids often say hurtful things because they are expressing anger, frustration, or other emotions, and they don't realize how hurtful they've been.

Second, it is OK that their words hurt. This too, is a normal reaction. I'd love to say "ignore it", but when something hurts, it hurts. Try to put it into the proper context. Your child is most likely frustrated because you are doing your job correctly.

Finally, discuss your child's words with them. (Preferably not in the heat of the moment.) The idea that "mommies are people too", is a pretty odd idea to a child. All children, regardless of age (and many adults), think in terms of themselves, and how they see the world. They need you to help them broaden their view. Talk to your child about your role as a parent. I tell me kids, "It's my job as a parent to..." I explain that it would be easier not to do my job sometimes, but that would not leave them in a very good place. I also teach my kids that I have feelings, and it is important to respect everyone's feelings, even mommies. (At the same time, be sure you interact with them in a way that respects their feelings.)

Mommies aren't doormats, and that is just as important for kids to learn as any other lesson you have to teach.

Good luck, and remember...You are Incredible!

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