Inconsistent Father

My child is two and his father has been very inconsistent his entire life. He will have me a little money a few months then stop, he will see his son once a week a few months and stop.

Fast-forward to today.

My child's father and I have been into it lately because these reasons....

1. He wants his child but he won't get him! For example he is never home when I go to drop him off at his home. Or if he is supposed to come get him from my home by a certain time he never does he over sleeps or something comes up. This has put my job on the line because I have to either be late til I can find someone to watch him or I have to miss completely because it's hard to find someone to watch him that quick.

2. Our child's birthday party he wanted to have it together with bother of our families. The deal was he pay for the room and I'd pay everything else. I ended up paying for the whole room because he was broke and he only paid half back to me. I asked him to help buy $5 pizzas for the party just 2 or 3 and he said "I don't have money to waste on your family to eat."....that struck a nerve. So I told him not to come to the party if he can't help and I'd give him the money back for the room. He went off saying he's coming to his son's party and now I'm being verbally attacked by one of his female friends because I am "childish" and "petty." And how they were gonna take my child to be around a bunch of alcoholics and druggies to have their own party. (When he can't afford to buy like $10 worth of pizzas)

He pays me zero child support and only buys a box of diapers once 2-3 months. If I ask for him to buy diapers, clothes, medicine, shoes, wipes. He always says he is broke.
He will message me and say we need to go shopping to get him clothes and stuff then says he is broke and it will have to be his next paycheck, then I don't hear nothing else about it.

We don't have anything set up in the court ...but his name is on the birth certificate along with mine, my child has his last name. (Really smart, I know 😔) I live in TN if that matters.

I'm wanting to know what I should do?

My plan is to not let him come get his child until he decides to take me to court? Which probably 98% chance won't happen because he don't want to give me money. But he can still come see him. I don't like to keep my son completely away from his dad. I just want his dad to know I'm serious this time and his inconsistency needs to stop before he hurts my child.

The reason I'm so harsh about him not getting him is not only that I'm afraid he will break my son's heart but I literally CAN NOT be late for work anymore because I will lose my job,and that's the only income I have because his dad don't want to help.

I feel bad but yet I feel like this needs to be done because I've told him and told him and he agrees then does it again and again.
It breaks my heart.

Comments for Inconsistent Father

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Dad isn't dadding
by: Sara

Hi there!

It is very common for a father to behave like this with a very young child.

He wants to be around, but doesn't know how. It is highly likely that the idea of spending so much time with a 2 year old is very overwhelming.

I want you to do a few things here:
1. Get child support assigned. That is money that your child is entitled to have in order to give him a more comfortable life. Just put it in place and be done with it.

2. Never put yourself in a position that you are depending on him. So if you make arrangements for him to come and get your son, only have him do that at a time that works for you to keep your son if dad doesn't show.

3. Have dad start small. Have him visit at your house, or meet you at a park...etc. Create a 'safe' place for dad. Plan out the time so dad learns HOW to interact with his son. Many men have no idea how to occupy a 2 year old for a period of time. They want to know their child they want to spend time, but it is intimidating to them. Help him get to know his child and to build up his confidence as a father. This is all new to him.

That should get you started! Wishing you all the very best! Hugs!

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