Is my 4 yr old lonely?

by Michelle

My 4 yr old boy always wants to be out and about and around other people all the time. After nursery today I had a couple of messages to do but then took Charlie to the park and McDonald's but when it was time to go home he got grumpy. On our way home my son said he doesn't like it at home just me and him it has broke my heart.

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Super Social 4 Year Old
by: Sara

Hey Michelle!

This is an awesome question!

You are blessed with a highly social fun loving kid...and that is awesome!

At the same are blessed with a high social fun loving kid! haha!

Four is such a fun age. Your child is really getting a taste of the fact that it is a big world out there...and there is a lot of fun to be had.

It sounds like you are doing a great job of giving him opportunities to get out and have fun and explore his world.

Nobody likes to stop doing things that are fun! Your son is simply expressing to you that he was having a good time, and that he enjoys being with others. He does not mean that he does not like being at home, or spending time with you. And he does not mean that you are not enough.

It is really important that you are strong enough to accept his "in the moment" expressions of his feelings without taking these moments personally. His comment is not about you at all.

He doesn't have the words or thinking capacity to say..."Man, I am totally bummed that I have to leave now, and I wish I could just keep playing and having a good time here."

A little trick I learned with my son was to give him a heads up that he would have to shift gears shortly. When I let him know that a transition was coming up, he had time to process, and he could slow himself down and process the idea that he would soon experience a change. He was then better able to accept the change when it was time. That's not to say that he wasn't disappointed about having to leave, but he managed his emotions around the idea of having to leave much better.

The more structured your son's time is at home, the better. He's a busy guy with much to learn, and fortunately for you, he is an eager student!

Don't forget to validate his feelings. "Yes! I know you were having a great time! What did you like the best...?" Etc. You'll have a great conversation on the way home, and he will feel even more connected to you.

My best,

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