My 18 year old daughter is at times awful

by Traci
(Leicestershire )

We were at a family lunch recently and I wanted a glass of wine and asked my daughter if she would drive a quarter of a mile home as she was drinking water.

She said no in front of everyone. I go and fetch her off the train from university whenever I can.

I didn't bring it up later on as she would expect me to.

I was so upset.

How do I bring it up to find out why she thought it okay just to say no...

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Who's driving?
by: Sara

Hi Traci,

That is maddening, and embarrassing. Further, I am certain you now feel a bit taken for granted when you go out of your way to pick her up from the train.

I am guessing she wanted to exert her ability to say "no" now that she is an adult. Perhaps you can find a time when you are having a good conversation with her about other things and say something like, "You know, I was just wondering why, when I asked you to drive the other day in order to keep us both safe, you said "no"."

You can talk about how that made you feel, and how now that she is an adult, you were hoping for a more adult relationship with her, etc. I wouldn't be condemning about it, but just have an open honest discussion as you would a girlfriend. This will help her understand how to be "adult" with you, and still be kind and considerate.

My best,

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