My son is soon to be fourteen years old

by Tracy
(cape town South africa)


I am a single mom to a son that will be fourteen next month - he has just started at high school this year. He was always a loving,kind child and he can still be sometimes, but like last night he thinks he know it all. He even said very hurtful things like I am not a good mom when I live for God and then my son. He has always come 1st,even my mom stepped in and said your mom is a blady good mom now please stop disrespecting her. He doesn't swear but says hurtful things - I try so hard and yes I am not perfect - God knows this but I TRY!I am even having panic attacks as I can't afford him to have his own room it is killing me.(We live in a two bedroom flat - my mom lives in one to help me financially)I do have a job but low pay,but I see that he has clothing, airtime for cell phone, medication if and when sick,facial cream for pimples, deodorant, etc., etc., etc. I go without so long as he has it all.(That is what a mother does.)

I have read some letters on your site,is this normal and I am going to try back off a bit from him regarding his school work, etc. (He got a scholarship with my help of course - filling in forms taking him for interviews even if we don't have a car - we walk or use public transport but my son is the reason he got it and GOD MAINLY!

Is this all normal??I feel like I am failing as a mom. As I said it bothers me I can't get his own room but I am doing the best I can for now!

Comments for My son is soon to be fourteen years old

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by: Ask Sara...

Hi Tracy...but can I relate! My son started at about 10! This is normal, but unacceptable. We have this notion that girls are a handful, when many times boys are as emotional. Girls, we're ready for...boys, not so much.

No need to cut back on the school work expectations. He's emotional, but he can still do his homework. Besides, he doesn't call the shots, you do. Decide what kind of discipline he earns when he is disrespectful, and still to it. Kids say dumb stuff like, I hate never do anything for me...blah, blah, blah. What they really mean is, "I have goofy feelings and I don't know why. However, since you're in the room it must be your fault." Unfortunately, it hurts. Stick your guns and you'll have a great kid on the other side of this. Honestly, it will eventually end. :)

For more help check out my pages on dealing with teens, and the blog posts on the same topic.

Hang in there!

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