by Amily
(South Africa)

My daughter heard me and my younger boyfriend having sex. She was very angry this morning. How do I deal with this. Nobody knows about my boyfriend because he is half my age. Please help.

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The sounds of sex
by: Sara

Hey Amily,

That is a tough one. As long as your boyfriend is an adult, the issue here isn't really his age.

No child wants to hear their parent(s) having sex. I am still traumatized and my parents have always been married to each other! haha!

The issue here is trust. You need to fess up to your child, and you need to apologize. She should not have had to hear you.

You need to really listen to her concerns, and honestly address them. I don't know how old she is, so it's hard to be more specific.

Do you love this man? Will he be around more? Will she be expected to share her home with this stranger? Are you doing something you have instructed her not to do?

You will really have to think about where you stand on all of these questions and maybe more, and you will have to have an honest conversation with your daughter, at her level of understanding.

Of course you will reiterate your love for her and that her safety and comfort are your first priority.

Good luck!

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