Teen wants to live with dad who deals 2 to 3 hundred pounds of pot per month

by Catherine
(Pawleys island, SC USA)

My 14 yr old wants to live with her dad who deals 2 to 3 hundred pounds of pot every month. She says he is more stable than me because he has lots of cash. I have struggled and moved us 3 times in the past year and a half for my business. My daughter has never been without and she barely leaves her bedroom. And when we speak she talks down at me as if I'm stupid. I'm so frustrated and hurt and going through menapause seems to make things even worse.

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Stable dad?
by: Sara

Hey Catherine,

In a word... No.

Your daughter does not get to make this decision. She is a child. Further, she has absolutely no idea what stability is or means.

I am guessing her dad is not running a government approved pot distillery...so he is a criminal. She doesn't get to go live with a criminal because she thinks having more money is "stable". The risks of living with someone who makes their living illegally are huge.

Menopause is challenging. Believe me, I know. Menopause is not causing this particular challenge.

Take your power back. If moving is not in your family's best interest, then get to a stable place. If your moving hasn't messed up anything, then don't worry about it.

And get your daughter out of her room, at least some of the time. She will complain and moan, and that is fine. Be it meals at the table (something I am adamant about), 30 minutes with you after school, a few days a week at the library, whatever makes sense. She isn't a grown up, she isn't supporting herself, and she doesn't get to decide.

I always told me kids, "My job is to parent, and I am going to do my job." All kids know what good parenting entails. They don't always like it because they are wired to be short-sighted and pleasure focused, but they know it means to be a good parent. And they want one.

Step into your power and responsibility and do your thing, Mama! You got this.

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