Teenage daughters and live in boyfriends
(Huntington Beach, CA )
My ex-fiance' that I am still very close with has a soon-to-be 16 year old daughter that I am very close with also. Her father is basically out of the picture. My ex started dating again, as normal, and after about a year of searching, she met a much younger man on a cougar website. Here new boyfriend is 33 and he is near the middle between the Mother and daughter in age.
They have just been dating for 2 months, and now she is planning to have him move in, because he lives in another city of all things. The daughter is at that age doing some, experimenting with boys and other adult things. Because of the mother's successful business, she has always had limited time for the family; I filled the role of the patriarch for many years. Now she is bordering on neglect for this age group and certainly irresponsible by most standards. Leaving her alone during the day and most nights, going away on weekends, not getting to know her friends.
I was going to be introduced to the boyfriend, but he does not want to meet me. In fact, I'm pretty certain that he does not want me to have any contact with my ex at all. I don't want to advise my ex too much, and I don't want to feel like I am intruding, but the daughter is also reaching out, and the mother and I are still close friends.
I feel that the boyfriend moving in after such a short time is very inappropriate. I feel that her neglect of attention to her daughter at this critical stage could have life long affect on her daughter. However, I'm also mature enough to realize that it might not be my place to say anything more based on the circumstances, in spite of my feelings, and for me to just exit.
I'm not trying to win her back. I'm just the only person she has in the USA, she is from China, that is looking out for them and I do care about them both.
Do you have any advice for me or for my good friend?