So there I was, on the floor, searching for change to give him to put gas in his car. I was a 24 year old single mother of three with no job, no car, and no clear direction. I had dreams, but they faded into the wind because in my mind, they were too far to reach. No means to achieve them, no support system (partly because I had pushed people who cared away) I was a wreck! So again, I'm on my hands and knees searching and from nowhere came a voice. I heard this voice, I felt this voice, I inhaled this voice. The voice said, "No more, you can't do this anymore". I knew exactly why I had this 'visit'. I was ready. I was finally ready to recieve this blessing.
Ready? You may ask, yes ready; mind, body, and soul. In that very moment, I became better. I loved me. The only problem was that for so long, I'd been playing to a different tune. The complete transition took longer than planned and I even accompanied this transition with bouts of hope and doubt, each day alternating. Ladies, I was getting what my heart had been asking for. He knew I was ready, and though it took some time, I knew I was ready.
I gained an uncontrolled interest in getting my driver's license. I got it. I NEEDED a job, not wanted, NEEDED a job. So I searched and made it happen. I was on a roll! Suddenly, I looked in the mirror and saw someone else. I saw a woman I loved! A woman who suddenly knew the importance of taking care of 'herself'. With all of this love I had for myself came love for others. Great love for my children. I mean I would no doubt jump in front of a bullet with no hesitation before. But this great love taught me that I needed to live my life better and I owed that to them as well as myself.
I needed my children to not manifest bad relationships because of what they'd seen mom go through. I needed them to know the importance of being independent. Also to be a good giver as well as a receiver. With strength and GOD, my life took a whole new turn and I'm thankful.
Thank you for reading my story.
Thank you so very much for sharing your story!! You brought tears to my eyes! Learning to receive is a hard lesson and I am so very proud of you! Isn't amazing what happens when we get on our knees? I know you will continue to move forward, I know you will continue to be a fabulous mom to your kids, and I know God has incredible things in store for you!
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